All set for BIG school now!

I called him "Dolly" in his 'toddler-hood' days as I believed that God had gifted this walkie-talkie, rolly-polly doll just for me to play! I loved doing everything with him, watching him giggle while he played a prank, trying to catch him when he ran around the house in circles creating havoc everywhere, he was my constant companion wherever I went. Bawling out "Mamma-eh" (his pet name for me) the minute he woke up from his sleep or just to get a bit of attention, was his favourite pastime. If he wasn't sitting on his Thomas toilet seat doing ''beah-beah'' then one could see him gliding down the carpeted steps in our 2 -storey house in London, shaking the 100-year old house's foundation to the core!

Born on 29th March 2008, this Aries baby announced his entry into the world with a loud resonating cry. That night at the hospital the nurse had to bring him back to my room as his ear-splitting shrieks were waking up the other babies in the nursery!

Vivacious, stubborn, passionate, moody, affectionate to the point of giving bone-crushing hugs and lip-smacking kisses, this little baby boy had conquered my heart. For a long time I did not want to have a second child as I always felt that I would not be able to love another as much as I love my first. Little did I realise that a part of my heart was empty waiting to be filled in with a surge of love from this little prankster who if given a chance would want to conquer my whole heart leaving no place for anyone else! So while I showered all the love and attention on him, I started setting some limits too. Rules that were non-existent for my angelic elder son but those that had to be created and implemented with this little attention seeker! His guffaws and equally loud tantrums were a part of my daily schedule and after a while I could predict them with precision and would be prepared with armour! Friends who would visit me would be unnerved in his presence and would praise me for my patience levels. It took them a few meetings to understand my little boy. To understand that he was passionate about life and certainly did not believe in hiding his feelings from the world!

It's amazing how fast time flies specially when you have children growing up around you! All of 5 years and 5 months now this mischievous monster is about to take a big step towards independence. He is going to go to Primary school, a full-day school where his teacher not his mummy would be his main care-taker for a change.

I knew this day would be coming soon. I had been preparing him for weeks. BIG boy, new BIG school, BIG school bus, new uniform, new friends......but in all this new BIG talk I forgot all about the other stakeholder - ME! Forgot that I would be equally if not more affected by this change of schedule, this transfer of responsibility, this sudden extra time on hand. On one hand I feel proud and happy that my son has grown up and ready to face the world. But on the other hand I am not sure if I want to let go of my baby, let go of my quality time with him, our rice and soup lunches filled with imaginative stories, our trips to the supermarket where he would insist on pushing the heavy trolley by himself and then collapsing into stacks of toilet rolls in his way, or let go of his constant help around the house and me calling out orders. "Bring me the towel" "Change the toilet paper roll", "Put the sunscreen in place". I always tell my husband that if he can't find something in the house he should ask my younger son because besides me he is the one who knows the place for every thing in the house!

For my son, here is a little poem that I have penned for you to sum up my thoughts and feelings.

It's about time now
For her to let go
Of your tiny little hand
That she watched each day grow

There is a new world out there
A different song for you to hum
But in your busy new life
Do spare a thought for your mum

Who might be in the supermarket
Picking up bread or shampoo or glue
While her hands are doing the job for her
Her mind and heart are all with you

Her friends ask her out on a lunch date
There is so much time to spare
But all she wants to do is
To open your album and sit and stare

What would he be doing she wonders
Would he have finished lunch by now?
Oh God! I should have packed pasta instead
And for no good reason she creases her brow!

She watches the clock ticking by
She has ample time to lie down in the sun,
Or to buy those pretty shoes that she always wanted
Where the store opened at half past one!

"Mummy come play with me!" she can hear you calling
"No not now" she hears herself say 
"I am cooking, I am cleaning, I am ironing" 
But now all she wants to do is play!

As she browses through the photographs
When you were 2 or 3 or 4
Wasn't it just yesterday she wonders
When you needed your diaper no more?

She closes the album finally
And wipes that final tear
She has to leave to fetch you from school
The time is quite near.

She sees you laughing with your friends
And with a different feeling she is filled
It is not a feeling of fear or loneliness
But a pride, in what she has built!

So as you come running towards her,
She knows she has passed the test
The worries that she had all day
Are now all put to rest!

Proud to be your mother!

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