Feeling blue

I have my ups and downs over the months but I have noticed that at this particular time of the year I start feeling more tired than usual. I tend to slow down - mentally, physically, down to a complete halt.

There are plenty of reasons for this 'annual exhaustion' I would say. First and foremost is the boys' birthdays. While I love the fact that they are born just two days apart from each other (and 4 years of course), their birthdays coming up together in end-March, sends me in a spin starting end of January. Planning the party itself is a big project,to that buying new clothes, shoes, toys, making sure I get the right sizes, the right colours, that one doesn't get more than the other, etc. Growing up, my birthdays were made very special by my mother and I fully intend to continue that tradition in my family. While adrenaline runs high working towards it, making one check-list after another, doing one shopping trip after another, by the end of it all after reaching a crescendo, it suddenly drops.....down......flat. Another reason could my insatiable appetite to socialise. Host parties, plan parties, attend parties, dinners, lunches and what not. Plus my little home-business venture keeps me on my toes as I love to do more events and make even more friends. What I sometimes don't realise is that my body can't cope up with my 16-year old mind! "Ouch!" I cry out loud, as a strong muscle pull takes hold of my lower back one fine morning and that does it all. Without warning all the weeks of exhaustion and stress become visible and I am left in this no strength, no energy, no enthusiasm state that leaves me confused and zombie-like. This year the weather adds to my woes with no sun, dark clouds and incessant rain.

I have tried fighting this feeling, forcing myself to go on my runs, to take a hike, but invariably I have left the activity incomplete and returned to the solitude of my house. I have tried making inane conversations with friends, doing lunches, coffees, but it isn't working. I try to talk it out with hubby but it ends up in "So why do you have to take on all these things and get so stressed?" Trouble is, he is right. I do want to take on a zillion things and keep myself busy. That is just what keeps me going and happy. But once in a while I am allowed to feel tired, I am allowed to complain, am I not?

So I thought, why talk to individuals, let's get talking to the world. Let's blog. After all I feel so much better, lighter, happier after I share my feelings in my posts. So here it is, I have started a conversation. Now let's hear from you.

See I am already smiling! Thank you for listening.

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